Monday, November 24, 2008
friends
It’s been a long time since I wrote anything on this blog and so the good news is that I’m going to become “prolific”. Recently few ideas sprang to my mind, so im probably going to write about the past few months and touch a bit about my philosophy. Today’s topic will be on friendship and the type of friends. I’ve been thinking about this since June, when everybody went into fifth gear, chew notes ad infinitum and prepare for the upcoming exams. I finally got my conclusion around October during the breaks. Basically, in my opinion there are 4 main types of friends, normal, false, girl and best friend. This is the definition given by wiki about friendship. Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. I did not read further as I believe that it will some how distort my thinking. I just want to pen down what I think at this point of time, I will probably look at it after I have finished this post to get a clearer picture of what the experts got to say. I shall start with the category that I term as normal friends. In fact, I would put more than 90% of people I term as friends into this category. Basically, I know their name and something about them. They are my ex-classmates, my current classmates, the people I knew on exchange programmes, etc…. When I meet these people on the road, I will wave and say hello. I always have a feeling that these are the people whom I get to know well but the strength of the friendship bond is weak, so that when I move on to the next stage of my life, they would probably be history and have little impact on our lives. Yet, when we meet, we always have some common topic to talk about, rejoice and reminisce about the past, how in the short span of our lives, so many incidents have occurred. Normally, we will muck-rack about other friends, soccer and yes girls (and guys if the other is a girl). However, I would not entrust any of my secrets to this group of friends as their loyalty and ultimate motive may be unclear at that moment. Time is an important factor when dealing with friends. If the length of separation is long, I always find it better to each others advantage to be slightly more reserved. Also, because of my (and probably many others) foolish pride, I would sometime refuse to acknowledge an old friend of mine, just in case he/she has forgotten about me. It’s cooler to ignore a person than to say hello and end up with the other person asking “who are you”. Probably the most eminent people in this group is my sec 3and 4 classmates. Many of whom I have really a wonderful friendship with. For example Shi Wei and me blowing Milo powder onto each others face and the surrounding friends laughing at our stupidity, Yu Guang and me having a (I find it hard to come up with an adjective for this word, probably joyous, since it was filled with laughter) fight involving Chia Jone’s belt and Wei Hongs racket at 2 in the morning in the Hwa Chong Dormitory. Also in this category are probably my exchange mates, like Tadaaki, Shiota, and many more. Our shoulders brush each other without leaving anything but pleasant memories and we just return to our normal lives in this long marathon of life. It always saddens me when after an exchange programme, we often lose contact despite the fact that we promised to keep in touch. In fact since once in 2005, twice last year, I have given up asking for contact information. It is fruitless and pointless, since we are not going to talk to each other even if the other side is online in msn. From this ~90% of normal friends, a few will stand out and I term it as best friends. They will have a deep-lasting impact on our lives, theirs intertwined with mine. It has to withstand the crucible of time and often unforeseen circumstances. They are the people whom I will ask for help if im in trouble without having to worry about quid pro quo. The majority of the people will probably have one or two such friends. Because of the stringent criteria I have attached to this category, I am unable to come up with any names though I do have a few possible candidates. The next type of friends is what I call fake friends. On the surface, I will smile, say hello and strike a conversion attempting to be Mr Nice Guy, but underneath I cannot wait to gnaw at their skulls and kick their viscera. I myself feel that it is down right hypocrisy, but sometimes in life, we will meet people whom we despise and treat beneath contempt. If I lash out at every single one of these people, it will not only make me a person deemed as having low EQ, but also expose myself to their watchful eye. As I do not know when I will require their assistance, it is tactful to remain on good terms with these people, especially if some of them are you superiors. I wouldn’t want my talents to go to waste just because of interpersonal relationships. For me, I try to keep minimal contact with this group of people, as time will expose the true self, the lesser time available the lesser chance I will be exposed. I believe that they share the same sentiments about me, just that we do not want to openly engage each other and waste precious time and energy. Luckily for me, I have few despicable people whom I must have to deal nicely. I got this idea from TV rather than personal experience, I realized that unknowingly I am being hypocritical at times. Alas can’t help it. Probably I will meet more of this type of people in life during work, where competition to move up the corporate ladder is much tougher. But now, I am satisfied with the status quo. The people I despise are mainly those who create trouble without reason and lazy people. People who create trouble may probably fail and end up in god-knows-where while those who are lazy can’t make it to my school. Either way they cannot make it into my social circle. Ha-ha So im left with girlfriend. I leave it to the last because unlike others types of friends, its special in terms of the way the two parties deal with each other. You can only have one at a time and probably better not to have too many throughout a single lifespan! It paves the stage for marriage life with all its vows and other problems. You can also hug, kiss and do much more things with your partner, there is more body contact and fun! (probably some of you have already realized that I changed from 1st to 3rd person, ha-ha that’s because I don’t have one yet, my experience is based on the people around me. but im working hard to get one although I acknowledge that it is an uphill task). I shall not talk about this category much since im a novice in such a matter and you would probably have more experience than me. Well, to end, I just have to say that it is really important to keep in touch with each other. Don’t feel that it is against our pride to start a conversation. On top of that, one has to treat his friend with whole-heartedness. Friendship is based on mutual trust and the enjoyment of each others company. I sincerely believe that to have a strong friendship, trying to take advantage of the other side will end up in ultimate failure, it’s about giving not taking. (Ha-ha, try to understand the last line through personal experiences if you have not already done so, because I have difficulty putting my idea across)
jianan[7:25 AM]
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hi good day to me
jianan[8:33 AM]
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to anon
hi anon i hope you are reading this, i want to send you an email but i dont have your contact. i would like to tell you my opinion regarding what you had said.
first and foremost i would like to point out that i am not against faith or any religious activities(perhaps other then sacrifice and mutilation). all faiths teach us to do good, thrift not avarice, love not war etc, so i dont think in any way that reading the bible or practising religion is a waste of time. however there is a problem when the normal being like you and me spend too much time on it. the pilgrimage lasts for a long time. spanning weeks or even months at one go. during this period, the faithful will most probably not be able to generate an income. on top of that, he/she might lose her skills. i believe that any rational employer will not choose such a person, especially in our dog-eat-dog world. every hour counts!!!
regarding reading of the bible, i cannot give you any statistics. personally it took me 7-8 months to finish to the chapter of mattew, including the old testament. i spent on average about 10-20 min or so. even for a devout christian, 2 hours will be enough. but the crux of the problem is that even if one reads 3 a day, he/she can still go to work. it will most unlikely affect his working hours, however the pilgrimage mentioned above is not.
i believe that we must handle our time well. faith provides food for the soul, but without food for the body, it is quite useless, hope you might agree with me.
on top of that, i think that if anyone choose faith over wealth(material sense), he/she shouldnt protest. it will be unfair to those who work. moreover, i am totally against those who riot, loot, burn and indirectly kill. we have the power to choose what kind of life we want to lead most of the time, the tibetan chinese should not forgo their religion, but they must also understand that PRC isnt a welfare state, and so they must work. in the chinese people's eyes, dont work=starve(to death)without complaining(they deserve it).
lastly i am really glad that you responded to my post. i really hope that more people will read my blog on top of the small group of friends that i have.
thank you very much, i look forward to hearing you again=)
jianan[8:40 AM]
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i also talk about tibet
Recently, two of the most talked topics are the Tibetan unrests and the Olympic fire relay (actually one is the result of another). Even though im far away from Tibet and its events do not affect me directly, I find it apropos to talk about it. If you have any comments pls post=)
I shant tell grandmother story but rather say a few pointers and opinion. 
1) Wrong use of word
First and foremost, I would like to point out one significant mistake that is prevalent. That is western media always like to use Tibetans and Chinese. The problem lies here, Tibetans are Chinese. "Chinese are trying to manipulate the media to cover up their actions" and "may the Chinese stop repressing the Tibetans..." Chinese refer to people of china, that include the majority Han Chinese and the other 56 minority races, including the Tibetans, miao etc etc. so how can Chinese repress Chinese? The west made and is still making a fundamental mistake of mixing up the two. They should try to be more sensitive towards wording.
2) Root cause, who is the instigator who should be blamed When analyzing any event or person, the most important is to find out the root cause. In this case we have to find out who’s responsible and who is to be blamed.
In my opinion, I find the Tibetans to be 80% to be blamed. The ostensible reason for this run of protests, violence and non-violence, inside and outside china is due to the Chinese government repressing ethnic Tibetan Chinese, that the Chinese government is trying to erode Tibetan culture and the locals face a worsening standard of living amid high prices. How true can this be? Are the Tibetans Chinese allowed to pray, yes? Only, they are banned from worshipping Dalai Lama. Those people can still go to temples and pray, do whatever they like. So how can this be called a repression? Dalai Lama for obvious reasons cannot be worshipped. He spread seditious comments and seeks independence (covertly). Contrary to many people’s thoughts, the Chinese government is not stupid. They will not allow the very person who aims to destroy their nation and institution.
For my second point and third point (that the Chinese government is trying to erode Tibetan culture and the locals face a worsening standard of living amid high prices) I shall lump them together. Tibetan lives center on Buddhism with the lamas at the top and all its subjects their serfs. Before the arrival of the PLA, the economic model of Tibet is serfdom. I believe that the PLA and CCP made a rudimentary mistake of liberalizing these ungrateful citizens. They should remain as slaves and dwell in their own ignorance instead of creating so much trouble.
The province of Tibet does not need to pay taxes to the central government. On the other hand the central government subsides many of her projects in Tibet, such as the Tibetan railway. The lives of many Tibetans greatly improved, as can be seen from the gdp per capita of the province. There is also a marked improvement in health care and education. Many ask why is that the new-coming Han Chinese have a much higher income? Who is to blame, Han or Tibetan Chinese? The Tibetan Chinese are not good businessmen. Many of them spend time praying instead of contributing to the economy. Many devotees do a ritual which require them to walk towards one sacred area and every seven or 5 steps knell down and pray. The ramifications im not sure, but you surely can google it. Such actions are time wasting, surely any rational employer will choose Han over Tibetan Chinese who are less devout and do more work.
Regarding culture, anything that is non-Tibetan is deemed as hostile. Pubs are one of the examples. You think yourself.
The Chinese government are not not to be blamed. They are slow in putting down the riots. Corruption is rampant, much red-tape and insensitivity and we have to agree. However if one is unhappy with the government, why must they attack shops, passer-bys, hotels, not military camps, police stations or government buildings?
3) Dalai and his history
Thirdly we have to understand Dalai Lama, his clique and their history. When the pla first liberated Tibet (1951-2), they met minimal if not almost zero opposition. Why, because the central government said that they will not practice what they practice in other parts of china (or rather at a later date); people own the lands, not one person or a single class (the lamas own a huge chunk of arable land and were landlords). However events took a turn in 1959 when the Chinese government decided it was time for land reforms in Tibet. The lamas will not allow an intrusion to their own economic status, the corollary of that is a failed uprising. The lamas revolted due to selfish economic reasons, they will not allow the government to give out the land to the peasants and serfs. This piece of information I bet many pro-Tibetan supporters might have forgotten. Thats how the lama got himself exiled. He clearly did not have the brain to think that his dismal power cannot overwhelm the tide of social progress. The interest of one cannot compete with that of the power of the people.
4) Should the Chinese government negotiate with the lama?
NO
in 1980s, the Dalai Lama decided to seek more autonomy rather then independence. Mind you, its not that he don’t want independence. After all if he returns to Tibet, he can become the master like he and his predecessors used to, rule with impunity and sits on a fortune. However he also knows that it is unattainable. So he will settle for the 2nd best. So from deep in his heart, he is still a spillitist, following and being flexible to the tide, not true Tibetan Chinese loving china.
China should not allow him to return or hold talks with him. We all know that we humans are greedy, after more autonomy, they will seek independence again and history will refold itself.
On top of that,
Dalai Lama can at most live another 20-30 years depending on his luck while negotiations may take many years. What if the next lama is like him in the early years? Or he does not live long enough to inculcate patriotic values to his subjects. One more revolt, one more exodus, and more trouble. Moreover, Dalai Lama claimed himself that he cant control the more radical groups amongst the Tibetan exiles, so whats the point of talking to him? Since he wields no more power or lesser influence especially among the younger more pugnacious groups?
5) MONKS Next look at what the monks are doing? Allowing burning, looting and killings. They chant mantras, learn values, this is the outcome, condoning unscrupulous unlawful acts. The government should really crack them down and teach them what the Buddha want them to be.  6) Many of the pro-Tibetans are Christians. I thought that Christians are supposed to believe in one god. How can they support infidels who pray to gold images and pray to men? I think those who support these people should go to hell, not that I curse them, the bible said so.  7) The Chinese government like to shout slogans and come up with deep complex theories. Please, 25% of the Americans don’t know that the earth revolve around the sun makes one year, you tell them complex stuff, they wont understand!! Waste saliva and $
the westerners are not stupid, they are very tactful. There is an ulterior motive. I believe that the western media is trying to pile pressure on china. Humiliate it and impedes her growth, economically, culturally and militarily. They will fail because they will only unite the Chinese, even the Chinese government themselves cant do that better. 8) What should we do? We do trade with china, not with Tibetans. We should keep quite on this matter (we should not appear to be condoning abusing of human rights) and don’t visit Tibet.
At the end of the day, no matter what vicissitudes we are in we cannot burn, loot, cause injuries to others. Protests should be peaceful, and I see nothing wrong in punishing the dissidents. I hope the Chinese government can stand up and remain strong. They act like emasculated men this time. I bet Mao ze dong would have sent in ten corps.
At this time, we should keep our mind clear and keep our emotions at bay. Logic and reasoning should guide us, love and values will protect us.
Feel free to rebuke me, or leave comments.
jianan[4:36 AM]
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pics
just a few pics for the past week, push the unhappy post down. too sway to put as first position
 
jianan[6:17 AM]
Today is a sad day. Really sad. But my sadness is also tinctured with frustration, indignation and disappointment.
It seems that playing on average 1~2 hrs during weekdays and around 3 hrs during weekends does not propel me to a level to play solo.
I acknowledge and fully agree than the head music instructor (mi) is better than me in terms of technique and musicality. However I do believe that I am good enough to warrant at least 3 minutes on the stage.
The mi asked a panel to judge my performance. He didn’t let me finish the song or rather he did not allow me to repeat the part which im supposed to because there is no time. After I had played, he said I should fail (mind you, he asked the panel to judge, he shouldn’t comment at all in the first place). So logically, he swayed the opinions of the panel which consists of 5 juniors and 2 seniors. In a normal situation, we tend to follow what a professional says, due to credibility and skill. On top of that, he played himself to show the difference. Naturally, I won’t be able to get or close to what I deserve.
In fact I have envisaged such a day aeons ago. The day when the mi failed me last year for a charity concert auditions. That day I still remember vividly. And on that same fateful day the mi brought down my guitar and told me that members can no longer store their guitars in the guitar room anymore. Of course, under normal situations, we had a little chat. He told me where my mistake lied (just one, it seems that I have inconsistent rhythm), and we talked about other things as well. He told me that he is under a new teacher, who uses a better guitar technique, which can produce more melodious tones. I asked him if he could tell me the teacher's contact so that I can learn from him as well, he told me he can’t.
There are many other incidents that shaped my opinions about him. But I shant carry on such jeremiads (or distortion of facts depending on which side you are, however i do try to present a as unbiased a version as i can ), as it will carry on for another 3 pages. Moreover, many people may disagree and there will be more acrimonious words which I don’t want in my blog. Anyway, I hope that anyone who is reading this blog will judge the mi through his/her own experiences, and please don’t get affected by me or my opinions on him.
anyway I know that there is a theory that essentially stated that an employer will not hire or hope to have an person under him who is better or equally as good as him, just in case the guy below turns the table and displaces him. In terms of guitar skills, im inferior to the mi. but sometimes perceived threats can be as dangerous as the real one. How true can this theory work here? I think there is a 50% probability. (in the entire guitar club, there is only 2 people who can play Yamaha level 5 songs. One of the songs which I played for auditions was called la cathedral, which the mi said him that it is really difficult and he didn’t even attempt it himself. Although I can complete the song, I can’t play it to well so I changed song). Anyway, what do you think?
I’m a guy who will rebound after a failure. What does not kill me will make me stronger. I swear I will still be a guitar member, no matter how my vicissitudes plunge (I will be thick skinned, even if they kick me like what they did to my classmates, I will persevere) . Even if im not playing solo, or even if they don’t allow me to play at all and be backstage, I will hang on. I will never say die or surrender.
jianan[5:09 AM]
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one new post in a long long time
its been a long long time since i last posted, november, december? i cant remember anyway
today is a long day. many things had happened, many to be reflected and many to be cast in stone on the internet by the keyboard. just to give a brief overview, the major events of today was the checking of chem paper and guitar auditions, my long and enjoyable talk with kana and lastly, parting with the japanese friends from tsukuba.
first of all, a double blow was hammered upon me. first is that i coundnt find any additional marks for my chemistry test. i got a miserable 35.5 out of a possible(impossible really) 110. chemistry looks easy, but it seems that i can never grasp the elusive A, or B, or C or even d, c, e, or even s. of course , i knew my chem score long time ago, but looking at the questions again, i realised how much a gap to be bridged before i am able to promote to a higher grade. sign, ive never focussed so much before in my life, and yet my scores took a plummet. all i can do is to self comfort, go jianan, its not over yet.
after the lessons in the morning, i had a really memorable chat with kana. with a hectic schedule that hardly provide enough time and opportunity to converse, such chats are priceless and informative, to say. the last two times i had such fruitful chats were in last year's november with my host, tadaaki's parents, who are both experts in law and japanese affairs. and the other was probably 3 years ago with my uncle from 1 to 3 am, who taught me how to be a useful well-liked person. these conversations always struck deep and its contents will always be engraved in my brain. today's though is a bit different. i must first admit that kana is the most pretty and kawaii interlocutor i have ever had (no amorous feelings or other intentions here, hope you believe). we talked about a lot of things, as much as one hour can spare us, such as music, way of life, muck-racking about people, etc etc. so in one way it is the least educational of all. however, it always feel like having an endorphin rush when a listening ear is there (moreover a beautiful one) and confirms my existence and although im able to get 2 Us, im also able to get a attractive girl to listen to me.
she's the 4th koda kumi fan i have known. the first one is of course myself. the second one is a girl from kobe, who is 13 yet taller than me and has immaculate skin and looks ver much like sawajiri erika albeit with a near perfect 2 rows of teeth. her name i do not know. im too shy to ask. the 3rd is brandon and the fourth is kana san. its a wonder that being a die-hard fan of kumi's , i cannot find many others who have the same interests me.
i like conversing with other people. when we are talking, we dont really have much time to think for the politically correct answer (most will beg to differ, but at least compared to other means such as a piece of writing or speech, it contains less lies and more truth). its also unlike msn conversations, first because of the reasons stated above. 2ndly and more importantly, through conversation, we can observe our interlocutor's body movements, reactions, and to ensure a smooth flow of words from both parties, speed is essential and that means that less time will be available to think. the corollary of that is we speak the first thing that comes to our mind, in another word, more truth, and less lies(furthermore we can detect it through facial expressions).
after the conversation, i went for guitar auditions. both my la catedral and cavatina cant make it. haiz, my dreams of playing solo is in jeopardy. and i dont expect much. i must admit that i am not good enough, should have chosen an easier piece in the first place.
the last "mega event" of the day was saying good bye to my tsukuba friends( of 3 whom i know, although the others i have barely spoken to but friends always sound more itimate even if we only know each other by face). i only managed to make three new friends, low by any standards. and the exchange of email address came at a much earlier time. simply because im not involved in this time's exchange programme which i very much covet. so, without knowing when will be our last meeting, its safer to write it down first. such kind of exchanges happened for four times in my life. the first time at hainan, 2nd time in singapore with the first batch of tsukuba students. 3rd time when i was in japan with the rj people and carin. and this time will be the forth. often looking back, i often ask can connexions and friendship last even when theres few thousand kilometers seperating us?
i m not in touch with the hainan people or my japanese hosts whom im very eager to communicate with, but that side lacks the necessary equippments. for the tsukuba friends last year, only 3 out of around 15 are still in touch with me. what a high percentage!! this time, although as eagerly as the last few times, i wrote my address down, i know deep inside my heart that such relationships can hardly weather the crucible of time and space.
i shall end here and proceed to read resurrection and hopefully have a good night sleep. what a way to end the month of march. koda kumi's new album's songs are still ringing in my ears. i hope some day, i can marry a girl who has the same magical voice as her. haha, i know you will say dream on.
jianan[8:20 AM]
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