its been a long long time since i last posted, november, december? i cant remember anyway
today is a long day. many things had happened, many to be reflected and many to be cast in stone on the internet by the keyboard. just to give a brief overview, the major events of today was the checking of chem paper and guitar auditions, my long and enjoyable talk with kana and lastly, parting with the japanese friends from tsukuba.

first of all, a double blow was hammered upon me. first is that i coundnt find any additional marks for my chemistry test. i got a miserable 35.5 out of a possible(impossible really) 110. chemistry looks easy, but it seems that i can never grasp the elusive A, or B, or C or even d, c, e, or even s. of course , i knew my chem score long time ago, but looking at the questions again, i realised how much a gap to be bridged before i am able to promote to a higher grade. sign, ive never focussed so much before in my life, and yet my scores took a plummet. all i can do is to self comfort, go jianan, its not over yet.

after the lessons in the morning, i had a really memorable chat with kana. with a hectic schedule that hardly provide enough time and opportunity to converse, such chats are priceless and informative, to say. the last two times i had such fruitful chats were in last year's november with my host, tadaaki's parents, who are both experts in law and japanese affairs. and the other was probably 3 years ago with my uncle from 1 to 3 am, who taught me how to be a useful well-liked person. these conversations always struck deep and its contents will always be engraved in my brain. today's though is a bit different. i must first admit that kana is the most pretty and kawaii interlocutor i have ever had (no amorous feelings or other intentions here, hope you believe). we talked about a lot of things, as much as one hour can spare us, such as music, way of life, muck-racking about people, etc etc. so in one way it is the least educational of all. however, it always feel like having an endorphin rush when a listening ear is there (moreover a beautiful one) and confirms my existence and although im able to get 2 Us, im also able to get a attractive girl to listen to me.

she's the 4th koda kumi fan i have known. the first one is of course myself. the second one is a girl from kobe, who is 13 yet taller than me and has immaculate skin and looks ver much like sawajiri erika albeit with a near perfect 2 rows of teeth. her name i do not know. im too shy to ask. the 3rd is brandon and the fourth is kana san. its a wonder that being a die-hard fan of kumi's , i cannot find many others who have the same interests me.

i like conversing with other people. when we are talking, we dont really have much time to think for the politically correct answer (most will beg to differ, but at least compared to other means such as a piece of writing or speech, it contains less lies and more truth). its also unlike msn conversations, first because of the reasons stated above. 2ndly and more importantly, through conversation, we can observe our interlocutor's body movements, reactions, and to ensure a smooth flow of words from both parties, speed is essential and that means that less time will be available to think. the corollary of that is we speak the first thing that comes to our mind, in another word, more truth, and less lies(furthermore we can detect it through facial expressions).

after the conversation, i went for guitar auditions. both my la catedral and cavatina cant make it. haiz, my dreams of playing solo is in jeopardy. and i dont expect much. i must admit that i am not good enough, should have chosen an easier piece in the first place.

the last "mega event" of the day was saying good bye to my tsukuba friends( of 3 whom i know, although the others i have barely spoken to but friends always sound more itimate even if we only know each other by face). i only managed to make three new friends, low by any standards. and the exchange of email address came at a much earlier time. simply because im not involved in this time's exchange programme which i very much covet. so, without knowing when will be our last meeting, its safer to write it down first. such kind of exchanges happened for four times in my life. the first time at hainan, 2nd time in singapore with the first batch of tsukuba students. 3rd time when i was in japan with the rj people and carin. and this time will be the forth. often looking back, i often ask can connexions and friendship last even when theres few thousand kilometers seperating us?
i m not in touch with the hainan people or my japanese hosts whom im very eager to communicate with, but that side lacks the necessary equippments. for the tsukuba friends last year, only 3 out of around 15 are still in touch with me. what a high percentage!! this time, although as eagerly as the last few times, i wrote my address down, i know deep inside my heart that such relationships can hardly weather the crucible of time and space.

i shall end here and proceed to read resurrection and hopefully have a good night sleep. what a way to end the month of march. koda kumi's new album's songs are still ringing in my ears. i hope some day, i can marry a girl who has the same magical voice as her. haha, i know you will say dream on.

jianan[8:20 AM]