I AM SPASTIC

friends

2008-11-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything on this blog and so the good news is that I’m going to become “prolific”. Recently few ideas sprang to my mind, so im probably going to write about the past few months and touch a bit about my philosophy.

Today’s topic will be on friendship and the type of friends. I’ve been thinking about this since June, when everybody went into fifth gear, chew notes ad infinitum and prepare for the upcoming exams. I finally got my conclusion around October during the breaks. Basically, in my opinion there are 4 main types of friends, normal, false, girl and best friend.

This is the definition given by wiki about friendship.

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.

I did not read further as I believe that it will some how distort my thinking. I just want to pen down what I think at this point of time, I will probably look at it after I have finished this post to get a clearer picture of what the experts got to say.

I shall start with the category that I term as normal friends. In fact, I would put more than 90% of people I term as friends into this category. Basically, I know their name and something about them. They are my ex-classmates, my current classmates, the people I knew on exchange programmes, etc…. When I meet these people on the road, I will wave and say hello. I always have a feeling that these are the people whom I get to know well but the strength of the friendship bond is weak, so that when I move on to the next stage of my life, they would probably be history and have little impact on our lives. Yet, when we meet, we always have some common topic to talk about, rejoice and reminisce about the past, how in the short span of our lives, so many incidents have occurred. Normally, we will muck-rack about other friends, soccer and yes girls (and guys if the other is a girl). However, I would not entrust any of my secrets to this group of friends as their loyalty and ultimate motive may be unclear at that moment.

Time is an important factor when dealing with friends. If the length of separation is long, I always find it better to each others advantage to be slightly more reserved. Also, because of my (and probably many others) foolish pride, I would sometime refuse to acknowledge an old friend of mine, just in case he/she has forgotten about me. It’s cooler to ignore a person than to say hello and end up with the other person asking “who are you”.

Probably the most eminent people in this group is my sec 3and 4 classmates. Many of whom I have really a wonderful friendship with. For example Shi Wei and me blowing Milo powder onto each others face and the surrounding friends laughing at our stupidity, Yu Guang and me having a (I find it hard to come up with an adjective for this word, probably joyous, since it was filled with laughter) fight involving Chia Jone’s belt and Wei Hongs racket at 2 in the morning in the Hwa Chong Dormitory.

Also in this category are probably my exchange mates, like Tadaaki, Shiota, and many more. Our shoulders brush each other without leaving anything but pleasant memories and we just return to our normal lives in this long marathon of life. It always saddens me when after an exchange programme, we often lose contact despite the fact that we promised to keep in touch. In fact since once in 2005, twice last year, I have given up asking for contact information. It is fruitless and pointless, since we are not going to talk to each other even if the other side is online in msn.

From this ~90% of normal friends, a few will stand out and I term it as best friends. They will have a deep-lasting impact on our lives, theirs intertwined with mine. It has to withstand the crucible of time and often unforeseen circumstances. They are the people whom I will ask for help if im in trouble without having to worry about quid pro quo. The majority of the people will probably have one or two such friends. Because of the stringent criteria I have attached to this category, I am unable to come up with any names though I do have a few possible candidates.

The next type of friends is what I call fake friends. On the surface, I will smile, say hello and strike a conversion attempting to be Mr Nice Guy, but underneath I cannot wait to gnaw at their skulls and kick their viscera. I myself feel that it is down right hypocrisy, but sometimes in life, we will meet people whom we despise and treat beneath contempt. If I lash out at every single one of these people, it will not only make me a person deemed as having low EQ, but also expose myself to their watchful eye. As I do not know when I will require their assistance, it is tactful to remain on good terms with these people, especially if some of them are you superiors. I wouldn’t want my talents to go to waste just because of interpersonal relationships.

For me, I try to keep minimal contact with this group of people, as time will expose the true self, the lesser time available the lesser chance I will be exposed. I believe that they share the same sentiments about me, just that we do not want to openly engage each other and waste precious time and energy.

Luckily for me, I have few despicable people whom I must have to deal nicely. I got this idea from TV rather than personal experience, I realized that unknowingly I am being hypocritical at times. Alas can’t help it. Probably I will meet more of this type of people in life during work, where competition to move up the corporate ladder is much tougher. But now, I am satisfied with the status quo. The people I despise are mainly those who create trouble without reason and lazy people. People who create trouble may probably fail and end up in god-knows-where while those who are lazy can’t make it to my school. Either way they cannot make it into my social circle. Ha-ha

So im left with girlfriend. I leave it to the last because unlike others types of friends, its special in terms of the way the two parties deal with each other. You can only have one at a time and probably better not to have too many throughout a single lifespan! It paves the stage for marriage life with all its vows and other problems. You can also hug, kiss and do much more things with your partner, there is more body contact and fun! (probably some of you have already realized that I changed from 1^st to 3^rd person, ha-ha that’s because I don’t have one yet, my experience is based on the people around me. but im working hard to get one although I acknowledge that it is an uphill task). I shall not talk about this category much since im a novice in such a matter and you would probably have more experience than me.

Well, to end, I just have to say that it is really important to keep in touch with each other. Don’t feel that it is against our pride to start a conversation. On top of that, one has to treat his friend with whole-heartedness. Friendship is based on mutual trust and the enjoyment of each others company. I sincerely believe that to have a strong friendship, trying to take advantage of the other side will end up in ultimate failure, it’s about giving not taking. (Ha-ha, try to understand the last line through personal experiences if you have not already done so, because I have difficulty putting my idea across)

2008-04-22T08:33:00.001-07:00

hi good day to me

to anon

2008-04-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

hi anon i hope you are reading this, i want to send you an email but i dont have your contact. i would like to tell you my opinion regarding what you had said.

first and foremost i would like to point out that i am not against faith or any religious activities(perhaps other then sacrifice and mutilation). all faiths teach us to do good, thrift not avarice, love not war etc, so i dont think in any way that reading the bible or practising religion is a waste of time. however there is a problem when the normal being like you and me spend too much time on it. the pilgrimage lasts for a long time. spanning weeks or even months at one go. during this period, the faithful will most probably not be able to generate an income. on top of that, he/she might lose her skills. i believe that any rational employer will not choose such a person, especially in our dog-eat-dog world. every hour counts!!!
regarding reading of the bible, i cannot give you any statistics. personally it took me 7-8 months to finish to the chapter of mattew, including the old testament. i spent on average about 10-20 min or so. even for a devout christian, 2 hours will be enough. but the crux of the problem is that even if one reads 3 a day, he/she can still go to work. it will most unlikely affect his working hours, however the pilgrimage mentioned above is not.
i believe that we must handle our time well. faith provides food for the soul, but without food for the body, it is quite useless, hope you might agree with me.
on top of that, i think that if anyone choose faith over wealth(material sense), he/she shouldnt protest. it will be unfair to those who work. moreover, i am totally against those who riot, loot, burn and indirectly kill. we have the power to choose what kind of life we want to lead most of the time, the tibetan chinese should not forgo their religion, but they must also understand that PRC isnt a welfare state, and so they must work. in the chinese people's eyes, dont work=starve(to death)without complaining(they deserve it).

lastly i am really glad that you responded to my post. i really hope that more people will read my blog on top of the small group of friends that i have.
thank you very much, i look forward to hearing you again=)

i also talk about tibet

2008-04-17T04:36:00.000-07:00

Recently, two of the most talked topics are the Tibetan unrests and the Olympic fire relay (actually one is the result of another). Even though im far away from

Tibet

and its events do not affect me directly, I find it apropos to talk about it. If you have any comments pls post=)

I shant tell grandmother story but rather say a few pointers and opinion.

1) Wrong use of word

First and foremost, I would like to point out one significant mistake that is prevalent. That is western media always like to use Tibetans and Chinese. The problem lies here, Tibetans are Chinese. "Chinese are trying to manipulate the media to cover up their actions" and "may the Chinese stop repressing the Tibetans..." Chinese refer to people of china, that include the majority Han Chinese and the other 56 minority races, including the Tibetans, miao etc etc. so how can Chinese repress Chinese? The west made and is still making a fundamental mistake of mixing up the two. They should try to be more sensitive towards wording.

2) Root cause, who is the instigator who should be blamed

When analyzing any event or person, the most important is to find out the root cause. In this case we have to find out who’s responsible and who is to be blamed.
In my opinion, I find the Tibetans to be 80% to be blamed. The ostensible reason for this run of protests, violence and non-violence, inside and outside china is due to the Chinese government repressing ethnic Tibetan Chinese, that the Chinese government is trying to erode Tibetan culture and the locals face a worsening standard of living amid high prices. How true can this be? Are the Tibetans Chinese allowed to pray, yes? Only, they are banned from worshipping Dalai Lama. Those people can still go to temples and pray, do whatever they like. So how can this be called a repression? Dalai Lama for obvious reasons cannot be worshipped. He spread seditious comments and seeks independence (covertly). Contrary to many people’s thoughts, the Chinese government is not stupid. They will not allow the very person who aims to destroy their nation and institution.
For my second point and third point (that the Chinese government is trying to erode Tibetan culture and the locals face a worsening standard of living amid high prices) I shall lump them together. Tibetan lives center on Buddhism with the lamas at the top and all its subjects their serfs. Before the arrival of the PLA, the economic model of Tibet is serfdom. I believe that the PLA and CCP made a rudimentary mistake of liberalizing these ungrateful citizens. They should remain as slaves and dwell in their own ignorance instead of creating so much trouble.
The province of Tibet does not need to pay taxes to the central government. On the other hand the central government subsides many of her projects in Tibet, such as the Tibetan railway. The lives of many Tibetans greatly improved, as can be seen from the gdp per capita of the province. There is also a marked improvement in health care and education. Many ask why is that the new-coming Han Chinese have a much higher income? Who is to blame, Han or Tibetan Chinese? The Tibetan Chinese are not good businessmen. Many of them spend time praying instead of contributing to the economy. Many devotees do a ritual which require them to walk towards one sacred area and every seven or 5 steps knell down and pray. The ramifications im not sure, but you surely can google it. Such actions are time wasting, surely any rational employer will choose Han over Tibetan Chinese who are less devout and do more work.
Regarding culture, anything that is non-Tibetan is deemed as hostile. Pubs are one of the examples. You think yourself.

The Chinese government are not not to be blamed. They are slow in putting down the riots. Corruption is rampant, much red-tape and insensitivity and we have to agree. However if one is unhappy with the government, why must they attack shops, passer-bys, hotels, not military camps, police stations or government buildings?

3) Dalai and his history

Thirdly we have to understand Dalai Lama, his clique and their history. When the pla first liberated Tibet (1951-2), they met minimal if not almost zero opposition. Why, because the central government said that they will not practice what they practice in other parts of china (or rather at a later date); people own the lands, not one person or a single class (the lamas own a huge chunk of arable land and were landlords). However events took a turn in 1959 when the Chinese government decided it was time for land reforms in Tibet. The lamas will not allow an intrusion to their own economic status, the corollary of that is a failed uprising. The lamas revolted due to selfish economic reasons, they will not allow the government to give out the land to the peasants and serfs. This piece of information I bet many pro-Tibetan supporters might have forgotten. Thats how the lama got himself exiled. He clearly did not have the brain to think that his dismal power cannot overwhelm the tide of social progress. The interest of one cannot compete with that of the power of the people.

4) Should the Chinese government negotiate with the lama?
NO
in 1980s, the Dalai Lama decided to seek more autonomy rather then independence. Mind you, its not that he don’t want independence. After all if he returns to Tibet, he can become the master like he and his predecessors used to, rule with impunity and sits on a fortune. However he also knows that it is unattainable. So he will settle for the 2nd best. So from deep in his heart, he is still a spillitist, following and being flexible to the tide, not true Tibetan Chinese loving china.
China should not allow him to return or hold talks with him. We all know that we humans are greedy, after more autonomy, they will seek independence again and history will refold itself.
On top of that,
Dalai Lama can at most live another 20-30 years depending on his luck while negotiations may take many years. What if the next lama is like him in the early years? Or he does not live long enough to inculcate patriotic values to his subjects. One more revolt, one more exodus, and more trouble. Moreover, Dalai Lama claimed himself that he cant control the more radical groups amongst the Tibetan exiles, so whats the point of talking to him? Since he wields no more power or lesser influence especially among the younger more pugnacious groups?

5) MONKS

Next look at what the monks are doing? Allowing burning, looting and killings. They chant mantras, learn values, this is the outcome, condoning unscrupulous unlawful acts. The government should really crack them down and teach them what the Buddha want them to be.

6) Many of the pro-Tibetans are Christians. I thought that Christians are supposed to believe in one god. How can they support infidels who pray to gold images and pray to men? I think those who support these people should go to hell, not that I curse them, the bible said so.

7) The Chinese government like to shout slogans and come up with deep complex theories. Please, 25% of the Americans don’t know that the earth revolve around the sun makes one year, you tell them complex stuff, they wont understand!! Waste saliva and $

the westerners are not stupid, they are very tactful. There is an ulterior motive. I believe that the western media is trying to pile pressure on china. Humiliate it and impedes her growth, economically, culturally and militarily. They will fail because they will only unite the Chinese, even the Chinese government themselves cant do that better.

8) What should we do?

We do trade with china, not with Tibetans. We should keep quite on this matter (we should not appear to be condoning abusing of human rights) and don’t visit Tibet.

At the end of the day, no matter what vicissitudes we are in we cannot burn, loot, cause injuries to others. Protests should be peaceful, and I see nothing wrong in punishing the dissidents. I hope the Chinese government can stand up and remain strong. They act like emasculated men this time. I bet Mao ze dong would have sent in ten corps.
At this time, we should keep our mind clear and keep our emotions at bay. Logic and reasoning should guide us, love and values will protect us.

Feel free to rebuke me, or leave comments.

pics

2008-04-02T06:17:00.000-07:00

just a few pics for the past week, push the unhappy post down. too sway to put as first position

2008-04-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad day. Really sad. But my sadness is also tinctured with frustration, indignation and disappointment.
It seems that playing on average 1~2 hrs during weekdays and around 3 hrs during weekends does not propel me to a level to play solo.

I acknowledge and fully agree than the head music instructor (mi) is better than me in terms of technique and musicality. However I do believe that I am good enough to warrant at least 3 minutes on the stage.

The mi asked a panel to judge my performance. He didn’t let me finish the song or rather he did not allow me to repeat the part which im supposed to because there is no time. After I had played, he said I should fail (mind you, he asked the panel to judge, he shouldn’t comment at all in the first place). So logically, he swayed the opinions of the panel which consists of 5 juniors and 2 seniors. In a normal situation, we tend to follow what a professional says, due to credibility and skill. On top of that, he played himself to show the difference. Naturally, I won’t be able to get or close to what I deserve.

In fact I have envisaged such a day aeons ago. The day when the mi failed me last year for a charity concert auditions. That day I still remember vividly. And on that same fateful day the mi brought down my guitar and told me that members can no longer store their guitars in the guitar room anymore. Of course, under normal situations, we had a little chat. He told me where my mistake lied (just one, it seems that I have inconsistent rhythm), and we talked about other things as well. He told me that he is under a new teacher, who uses a better guitar technique, which can produce more melodious tones. I asked him if he could tell me the teacher's contact so that I can learn from him as well, he told me he can’t.

There are many other incidents that shaped my opinions about him. But I shant carry on such jeremiads (or distortion of facts depending on which side you are, however i do try to present a as unbiased a version as i can ), as it will carry on for another 3 pages. Moreover, many people may disagree and there will be more acrimonious words which I don’t want in my blog. Anyway, I hope that anyone who is reading this blog will judge the mi through his/her own experiences, and please don’t get affected by me or my opinions on him.

anyway I know that there is a theory that essentially stated that an employer will not hire or hope to have an person under him who is better or equally as good as him, just in case the guy below turns the table and displaces him. In terms of guitar skills, im inferior to the mi. but sometimes perceived threats can be as dangerous as the real one. How true can this theory work here? I think there is a 50% probability. (in the entire guitar club, there is only 2 people who can play Yamaha level 5 songs. One of the songs which I played for auditions was called la cathedral, which the mi said him that it is really difficult and he didn’t even attempt it himself. Although I can complete the song, I can’t play it to well so I changed song). Anyway, what do you think?

I’m a guy who will rebound after a failure. What does not kill me will make me stronger. I swear I will still be a guitar member, no matter how my vicissitudes plunge (I will be thick skinned, even if they kick me like what they did to my classmates, I will persevere) . Even if im not playing solo, or even if they don’t allow me to play at all and be backstage, I will hang on. I will never say die or surrender.

one new post in a long long time

2008-03-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

its been a long long time since i last posted, november, december? i cant remember anyway
today is a long day. many things had happened, many to be reflected and many to be cast in stone on the internet by the keyboard. just to give a brief overview, the major events of today was the checking of chem paper and guitar auditions, my long and enjoyable talk with kana and lastly, parting with the japanese friends from tsukuba.

first of all, a double blow was hammered upon me. first is that i coundnt find any additional marks for my chemistry test. i got a miserable 35.5 out of a possible(impossible really) 110. chemistry looks easy, but it seems that i can never grasp the elusive A, or B, or C or even d, c, e, or even s. of course , i knew my chem score long time ago, but looking at the questions again, i realised how much a gap to be bridged before i am able to promote to a higher grade. sign, ive never focussed so much before in my life, and yet my scores took a plummet. all i can do is to self comfort, go jianan, its not over yet.

after the lessons in the morning, i had a really memorable chat with kana. with a hectic schedule that hardly provide enough time and opportunity to converse, such chats are priceless and informative, to say. the last two times i had such fruitful chats were in last year's november with my host, tadaaki's parents, who are both experts in law and japanese affairs. and the other was probably 3 years ago with my uncle from 1 to 3 am, who taught me how to be a useful well-liked person. these conversations always struck deep and its contents will always be engraved in my brain. today's though is a bit different. i must first admit that kana is the most pretty and kawaii interlocutor i have ever had (no amorous feelings or other intentions here, hope you believe). we talked about a lot of things, as much as one hour can spare us, such as music, way of life, muck-racking about people, etc etc. so in one way it is the least educational of all. however, it always feel like having an endorphin rush when a listening ear is there (moreover a beautiful one) and confirms my existence and although im able to get 2 Us, im also able to get a attractive girl to listen to me.

she's the 4th koda kumi fan i have known. the first one is of course myself. the second one is a girl from kobe, who is 13 yet taller than me and has immaculate skin and looks ver much like sawajiri erika albeit with a near perfect 2 rows of teeth. her name i do not know. im too shy to ask. the 3rd is brandon and the fourth is kana san. its a wonder that being a die-hard fan of kumi's , i cannot find many others who have the same interests me.

i like conversing with other people. when we are talking, we dont really have much time to think for the politically correct answer (most will beg to differ, but at least compared to other means such as a piece of writing or speech, it contains less lies and more truth). its also unlike msn conversations, first because of the reasons stated above. 2ndly and more importantly, through conversation, we can observe our interlocutor's body movements, reactions, and to ensure a smooth flow of words from both parties, speed is essential and that means that less time will be available to think. the corollary of that is we speak the first thing that comes to our mind, in another word, more truth, and less lies(furthermore we can detect it through facial expressions).

after the conversation, i went for guitar auditions. both my la catedral and cavatina cant make it. haiz, my dreams of playing solo is in jeopardy. and i dont expect much. i must admit that i am not good enough, should have chosen an easier piece in the first place.

the last "mega event" of the day was saying good bye to my tsukuba friends( of 3 whom i know, although the others i have barely spoken to but friends always sound more itimate even if we only know each other by face). i only managed to make three new friends, low by any standards. and the exchange of email address came at a much earlier time. simply because im not involved in this time's exchange programme which i very much covet. so, without knowing when will be our last meeting, its safer to write it down first. such kind of exchanges happened for four times in my life. the first time at hainan, 2nd time in singapore with the first batch of tsukuba students. 3rd time when i was in japan with the rj people and carin. and this time will be the forth. often looking back, i often ask can connexions and friendship last even when theres few thousand kilometers seperating us?
i m not in touch with the hainan people or my japanese hosts whom im very eager to communicate with, but that side lacks the necessary equippments. for the tsukuba friends last year, only 3 out of around 15 are still in touch with me. what a high percentage!! this time, although as eagerly as the last few times, i wrote my address down, i know deep inside my heart that such relationships can hardly weather the crucible of time and space.

i shall end here and proceed to read resurrection and hopefully have a good night sleep. what a way to end the month of march. koda kumi's new album's songs are still ringing in my ears. i hope some day, i can marry a girl who has the same magical voice as her. haha, i know you will say dream on.

december 10

2007-12-10T03:45:00.000-08:00

i am emoing right now.

carin and jodie just rekindled my longingness for japan. so while writing this blog, i am listening to ostuka ai singing daisukidayo(i like you very much) and uploading a revised version of photo album. if you want to view please click (http://picasaweb.google.co.jp/IAMSPASTIC/JapaneseTrip2 and http://picasaweb.google.co.jp/IAMSPASTIC/JapaneseTrip102 )

this trip to japan will certainly be a important chapter in my life. when i grow old and decrepit, i will again look at these photos and say hey jianan, your life aint all shit and pee after all.(how uncivilised =) )

there are 3 things that predominantly occupy most part of my thinking brain. namely, 2.4 run, guitar and studies. i will fail myself in all 3 components if i were to rate myself now. i lack discipline and determination. while studying, my mind will drift to somewhere else. and frankly speaking, i haven did an iota of homework. my running is as bad as ever. running made me feel psychologically worse especially after my trip to the mindef intership programme MIP for short. the slowest in the ocs airforce is 9.30. i take 4 min longer than that. lastly to guitar. the only part which i will get a S, which is a sub-pass. my la catedral is far from smooth and the 3rd movement sounds like like a broken and capriciously out of battery record player(awakard expression). but a S for player 5 times a day.

jiayou jianan, still got 20 more days. haha only 20

missing japan

2007-12-03T20:39:00.000-08:00

the kind of feeling i am having now can be said as emptiness. this kind of feeling always arise when one returns from holiday or returns to normality after climax. i am the first case. returning to singapore and facing the multitudes of tasks that awaits me is in deep contrast to my days in japan where fun, laughter and relaxation fills the day. so in order to fill my empty void, i watched the koda kumi concert first things for the entire morning, knowing i should study instead. how i miss japan!! and now i regret not buying koda kumi's 2nd things concert dvd. (well it was 4000yen so it was really expensive and so i thought, but now it seems that the marginal benefit is greater) i really desire to speak japanese to somebody, but i know whatever methods i take will be quite futile.
tomorrow i am going to mindef for some form of attachment, hopefully as i get busier, other thoughts will occupy my mind. i will also upload my photos and write a detailed account of my days there.
back to earth jianan

yay finally comes the 14th

2007-11-14T02:24:00.001-08:00

after months of waiting, the day to fly to japan finally comes. yahoo!!
today had a tough morning. i went immigration to extend my passport's expiry date. then well the worst came at the mrt system. the train was so packed that i had to stand and watch 4 trains go. fed up i took one train in the oposite direction and went as far as kemblangan. the whole trip from lavender to admiralty took around 1hr30min...................

so iam going to japan. so much anticipation, anxiety and curiousty. i hope to make lots of new friends and meet up with the old ones. try the 70$ crab and buys lots of stuff.
on top of that im travelling with a bunch of nice guys. the rj people, although we met only once, i think that they will make good companions. i just hope that they dun snore during sleep. snoring drives me insane. hewhe

good luck jianan, happy trip!!

ps after i come back i must really start mugging, alternatively i can die for a levels. on top of that i will practice hard for my guitar performance, and hopefully i can perform la catedral. hardwork bless me.
and you blog, i will refurbish you and add tag board

random stuff

2007-11-13T07:04:00.000-08:00

today had quite a lot of fun and well pretty rush.
met up with classmates like adrain, jolyn, cheng liang, etc and well as usual most people are late. i ate a double cheese burger with cheese for lunch, and it will most likely be my first and my last. i nearly puked trying to finish it. together with "devine intervention" from cheng liang, who assisted me in finishing the fries.
went kbox later, it was my first time going karaoke,(i have no life man) sang some songs . everytime i sing jap songs, the people in my room will zao to another room. on top of that, i have the constant habit of singing off tune. wish i had a voice like jay chou. wadever
unfortunatedly i sang for one hour only before i made my way to causeway point to dry wash the blazer, which the laundry lady said that they need at least 3 days. logically i cant as i will fly off tomorrow, so i will just have to put up with a stinky blazer which smells of paint and moss in japan. wth. i changed my bag also, got an even uglier one. i coundnt believe my self.
after that i rushed to home to attend guitar lessons. so rush. i went from orchard to woodlands back to admiralty in just one hour. hehe. so efficient.
the song i learnt was la catedral the 3rd movement. it was one of the hardest pieces i have ever played. cant help it, it is a grade 4 guitar piece.

the worst event came at night. i just realised my passport has already expired... so i will have to go renew it tomorrow or i can stay in singapore. what a shock, but luckily i discovered today. or else tomorrow i will just stone and get stranded in the airport. hopefully the immigration authorities can extend my passport in one day. i trust them. singapore goverment agenices are very efficient. although i doubt that they will be so efficient. i will just have to try my best

good night jianan a long day awaits you tomorrow. i want to go japan!!

top 10 favourite artists

2007-11-09T05:15:00.000-08:00

Nothing better to do so I am going to blog again. Monkey just told me to write in English so as not to lose my already minute pool of readers. True, so I am going to write in both English and Japanese. I can assure you that both versions are identical in content (that is you believe that I can translate properly la, so I apologise for any faults in the translation)

かなり暇だったから、今、ブログする。先ほど、猿は英語で書くほうがいいから、さもないと、少ない数の読者が失われるかもしれませんっていました。　だから、私は未来に日本語と英語を両方に使って。つまり、同じ事件を二つ言語で記します。
As I’ve just said, I have nothing better to do, so an IDEA just ejaculXXXed from some part from my brain.

新たなアイヂィアが突然に現れた。
I AM GONNA TO PUBLISH
THE JIANAN’S TOP 1O
僕様がジャナンのトープ１０を発表するだゼイ

Today’s episode will be : THE TOP 10 FAVOURITE SINGERS

Criteria: most importantly will be the prowess in singing. Tone and rhythm especially in live concerts. On top of that, dancing is also very important. Of course a good face and hot figure.

ALL JUDGEMENTS BASED ON MY MOOD, I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I MAKE NO EFFORTS TO ENSURE THAT JUSTICE IS DONE. I WILL MAKE THE UTMOST EFFORT TO EXPLAIN MY CHOICES. IF YOUR OPINION DIFFERS FROM MINE, FEEL FREE TO VOICE OUT, BUT NO PERSONAL ATTACKS.

（日本語がかけません）

NUMBER 1: KODA KUMI 　第一番　倖田來未

Frankly speaking, koda kumi isnt really what one will call a perfect beauty. But entices me is her voice and her character. She can sing and dance quite superbly. When she sings, especially those emo songs, one can really feel it. It touches the heart, the soul.
She got wonderful inner beauty too. She braved the ups and downs in her career, always emerging stronger and stronger. For a brief overview of her life please visit wikipedia (and donate). She is strong and lovable. She is also cute and hot. Although, she cant epitomize both traits. But anyway I like her and she is the No 1.

倖田來未さんは美人何ですけど、特別に美しくて可愛いっていえない。だが、倖田來未さんはちゃんと歌えるし、ダンスできるし、性格も良いです。一言で、倖田來未さんはガ最高だ、満点だ。（日本語で書くのは大変ですね、言いたいことはっきり伝えない。）

NUMBER 2: BoA

She can dance, better than Koda Kumi I think, but she gives me an impression that she is just a normal girl. Her character is not as special or strong as Koda kumi (at least to me)
Can sing, I think her Korean albums are better sung. But I think her career is too smooth, especially after the world cup 2002. She is more like a descriptive essay than a novel. Too perfect liaoz.

日本語で書くのは諦める。日本語またね。

Number 3: Jay Chou

All the Chinese music listeners especially my age will unanimously vote for him (what an understatement) can sing, compose just can’t pronounce properly. He cannot dance too well, alas who cares. He can compose, that is his strongest trait compared to the rest. Mozart of modern music

Number 4: Christina Aguilera

Very sexy and mature voice. Feel people can sing like her. Her body is also quite hot, looks mature type of sexy, blonde but sadly not my type.
Anyway in terms of singing power, she should be number one. Quite a strong character too, always voice out her displeasures.

Number 5: Eminem
Fastest rapper on earth. A lot of meaning hidden in the lyrics. Brought up a bunch of rappers like him such as 50cent. Very vulgar indeed, too much expletives. However, he can bring up the crowd, daring in his words.

Number 6: Otsuka Ai

So Cute, she is the cutest and can sing too. She just stand at one corner and sing and will be able to capture all the attention. I like her albums, all the love blah blah.

Number 7: Westlife

Like their songs. Quite handsome. Their songs are fairly easy to pick up, and everybody can sing them. (fallacy) so we fancy them. Minus points for poor dancing and 7th because the first 6 are just better.

Number 8: David Tao

Perfect singing and tone pitch etc. cant dance though. Too little controversy around them, so a bit boring. + he is a man, cant help it due to my intrinsic character.

Number 9: Linkin Park

Can shout. No elaboration needed. Cool music, but I do not like their newest album Minutes… cant help it

Number 10: Do As Infinity

Cannot dance but can sing. I like the band. They have nothing special, so they are number 10. I like their songs though, and they are able to compose music.(I am out of breath, getting too long. No stamina)

Those who fell off the list examples
Hamasaki ayumi (+looks, apparels – cant sing )
Rain (+dance –singing and looks small eyes, bad for dancers)
Exile (-they touched koda kumi, and I am jealous)
Micheal Jackson (+best dancer in the world, can sing really well – too bad no inner beauty. )
Mariah Carey (+ can sing really well –no figure and I cannot sing her songs)
Stefani sun (+ made in singapore and sing nice songs – bad skin and too skinny, not my type)

yay finally end

class chalet

2007-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

from the 6th to 8th november was o still is class chalet. it was quite fun, with all the action ; movies, food, mahjong, tai ti, bridge, and ya VODKA. haha adrain and chang jie's face got so red, they look like baboon's ass. haha.
this chalet symbolized a lot of things. first of all, is that my parents are granting me more freedom. they forbidded overnight stays in the past, but they allowed this time. this shows that ive grown up and gained their trust.
2ndly, we forged stronger class spirit. living together and getting to know each other more. this point do not require further elaboration i think.
3rdly, livepool won 8-0 and i was watching =)
lastly, i managed to sip at least 10 ml of pure vodka. actually i attempted that last year at my secondary school class outing. obiviously failed last time or else this point aint gonna stand yo.

there is still another 8 days before i go japan, before that i must strive to improve my nihongo. so i am going to write everything in japanese in the next few weeks.

日本へ行くのは８か日を待って行かなくては行かない。だから、この間、日本語を進歩しなくてはいかなくちゃ。まず、コスウォークを用意して、タイトルと研究分野を選んで決めて、１２月１５日前で、オートラインを出す。
また、単語や文法などを復習して、日常会話を練習する。たくさんのアニメや映画を鑑賞する、聴解を強くにする。時間がなさそうですから、頑張っていかなくちゃ。
日本で旅行するのがすごく期待します。今すぐ日本の姿を自らの目で見て欲しい。この様子はソースパク（ＳＯＵｔｈＰＡＲＫ）のエリク　　カトマン（ＥＲＩＣ　ＣＡＲＴＭＡＮ）と似ているですね。彼がニテンドーウィーを待って、私は日本へ行くこと。
仕方ねぇーでしょう。
お休み　ジャナン

fac outing

2007-11-04T06:53:00.000-08:00

o juz one pic from fac outing

it was sort of fun. our gas stove kept spurting out fire at first, which eventually turned into a full blown pyre. after that, we changed stove and the next thing we knew was that the gas cylinder went out of gas.

our fac dance is getting really cool. omg thomas and jiayi and the rest, so pro. i shldve joined MAD. anyway, the outing was superb, other then the food and stove of course. but the focal point here is not really the food or stove, it is the people. i give 90 marks for the outing. 9 marks for absentees and 1 for food. lol with me haha

rewind back to the movie screening, the movie hairspra. it was a superbly artistic and got meaning movie. i think it is much better then the spiderman or what not. sad didnt finish it, due to the security guard. cant he just wait for 5 min !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anybody got diarrhoea hehe

btw pple as u can see my blog skin really suck(using hu chang's words), so can anybody help me refurbish it. i am maladroit at com.

no title

2007-11-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

mood : emotional , disappointed
action: running away from reality (copied this idea of writing emotion stuff from deviant art, i wonder they copy from who, or their original idea?)

today is definitely not one of those days that i can recall with joy. i rushed for my op and my dear friend veron's slide dont know god knows where just disappeared. i felt down. cant help it, we put in so much effort and the results was unsatisfactory. this is life you know. sometimes no matter how much one prepare something, at the most important juncture, another thing thats seemingly minute will randomly pop out and disrupt one's intricate plans and smash it into smithereens. 谋事在人，成事在天。
my ancestors really know how to put it.

after having dinner with my friends and upon reaching home. i straight away went to watch anime and play com. ya, trying to forget the reality, enter a virtual world, hoping that time will heal all wounds. i dont deny im escaping, pushing aside really important matters out of my brain. but i like the virtual world. in the real world, i am a just a incompetent student promoting with marginal passes. but in the virtual one, i can conquer the world, manipulator of the situation. its so different from the real me and i am addicted to it.

now talking about computer games. there are two games i like very much. both are strategic games-medival 2 total war and fifa manager. one is to send computer generated people to die and the other send people to play soccer. the reason i like these games maybe because the player is powerful and able to control other "people". in the real world im controlled by my parents, restrained but rules. however in games, i have the say, i am empowered. So i like this feeling and like the game!!

of couse, there are always homework to be done, notes to be read. but at least i already had a breather in front of the computer screen. many people think that playing computer is really no life. while i think that com games sustains my life. it fills my emptiness, gives me an outlet for my anger disappointments and inherent weakness. without it, i might have committed suicide long time ago. (...stoned for some time) maybe this is not the case, im not so weak la

there is one story in the bible i want to say, i cant recall properly and i wont refer it since i dont feel like it. it talks about satan trying to test one of god's faithful subject. he is called jacob or job, i cant remember. but anyway this guy he is faithful and upon meeting multitudes of unfortunate events wavered a bit, but still believed in god. in the end he was rewarded.
i am quite sure my story is wrong but hope the one reading it will roughly get the idea. resilience and faith(the believe that one will be able to do something) should be my god. sometimes i might fail, fail many times but as long as i have faith i might be able to pull through.

i am currently working on why buddists should eat beef, still thinking about it. its religious stuff and so it is sensitive. may or may not post it

one night before OP

2007-10-31T07:31:00.000-07:00

owww, just finish op and i&r think i take a rest.

i must say i am quite lucky to get my current pw group. they are all so nice and hardworking. extra mention must go to suat lay. our imba do-everything-girl hehe, others also did la, juz not as meng as her. aiya i might as well as mention all the people

to Suat Lay,

i liked your comic and layouts. they are superbly done and you help me and the rest edict alot. i think you spilled the most blood into our project

thank you.

Veronica

your posters were imba. a piece of masterpiece, i suggest you go AEP, sure trash the others.

tarimakaseh

Scott,

your ideas were god-like. your body is always a source of inspiration.. juz joking

arigatou

Cheng liang

i like your fruitful, so creative. may the rin suzuXX can give you a kiss for that hehe

xie xie

it has really been a pleasure to work with my group. men, i am so lucky. thank my father for giving me a y for initials.

no matter what kind of results we produce tomorrow (i am damn sure we will all get As) it has been a joy to work we you guys and girl. if i can, i will choose this group again (hum, the problem is that will you all choose me =) ).

good night and good luck

my first post

2007-10-22T23:13:00.002-07:00

how long have i waited??? 1 week 1 month to write my first post on the blog ever since i discarded my old one? i cant remember, anyway this will be my first post for my new blog.
haha, i feel my hands getting really rusty. my first post here will be quite heavy. i did not want to write actually, but this morning i saw a very interesting post, the content is quite heavy, but nonetheless interesting in my opinion. this is it:: in chinese haha

一百多年前中国简直就是个性奴，西边几个几猛男一起上，日本也没闲着，他说让外人上还不如让邻居上。于是日本在中国身上玩虐待，光这样还不够，他想让全亚洲都当他性伙伴，玩腻了还想找山姆大叔搞玻璃，结果发育不全的小男孩和虎背熊腰的大汉扭打起来，流了鼻血死撑着，直到档部被踹了两脚他才冷静下来，战后中国没找日本索赔，怕别人说我们拿嫖资还是怎么地？我真是纳闷，我伟大的祖国在和强*犯行什么妇人之仁。打胎费总得要吧？　　　　　　
照日本的说法，过去了就算了，历史是留给人遗忘的。虽然中国一再表态?忘记历史就意味着背叛。但那似乎只是少数有良知的国人才懂得的道理，我们的外交就是这么暧昧，说一些有回旋余地的话，或者干脆装哑巴，女人吵架还会撕破脸，中国这算什么？太监！看看那些哈日的傻瓜，这简直是个充满卖国贼的国度，特别是那些诋毁爱国平民的“精英”，在某种程度上还不如一个高中没毕业的，我就高中没毕业，我当年头脑发热觉得自己学到的都不是东西，现在我没工作就瞎写小说，我是闲人，所以有空为很多狗屁不通的事瞎操心，操烂了心国家也没给补贴，还会说我是狭隘的民族主义。所以我气馁也想不谈国事，但我实在爱上瘾了，祖国让我爱恨交织，恨祖国什么？恨铁不成钢，人穷志短，这样的国家还谈什么复兴啊，我可爱的祖国什么时候能头脑清醒，不要再当东郭先生了，在同一块石头上要绊倒几次才知道疼？不是不知道疼，是忍气吞声。中国是儒者，是唐僧，忍耐是无限度了。　　　　　
　说到中国现在的那些“精英”，想到三国时期曹操要攻打吴国，蜀谴派诸葛亮连吴，吴国的高官们都劝孙权投降，国家好吃好穿养了他们，他们居然说这样的话，这就是所谓当时的“精英”，所有后来才有诸葛亮的舌战群儒，看看?三国演义?里那些人什么嘴脸，再看看如今的精英们什么嘴脸，你就会发现历史有惊人的相似。 97年印尼屠杀华人，我们的媒体在干什么，最可恨的是印尼问了一个小日本物动说你是不是中国人，小日本物动用日语回答了一句，人家就把小日本物动给放了。说明杀人狂也是有脑子的，他们知道日本是什么国家，好惹吗？更知道中国是什么国家，李连英式的国家，别告诉我你连李连英都不知道是谁？　　　　　
　谈谈最近，日本分别摸了韩国和中国的手（竹岛，**岛），韩国都想回家拿菜刀了，中国是被强*惯了习以为常还是怎么了？日本说中国衣服穿太厚了（军费预算不透明），这就是强*犯典型的逻辑，他的意思是说，你穿棉袄我想撕扯都不容易。日本又说你头脑里有和我做对的想法（说中国教育有仇日思想），中国上海教育部马上把“狼牙山五壮士”从课本里删了。这说明什么，这说明吃里爬外，日防夜防，家贼难防，这样的例子还少吗？中国官员应该比我们清楚日本新干线是什么东西吧，上世纪70年代开发的，说速度比不上法国和德国，日本更不会把核心技术转让，磨损零件也会狡诈我们。中国莫名其妙就买了，这就好象一个男人提出性要求，女人就主动脱裤子。现在日本驻军下地岛，扬言要协防台海，你看，手都伸到中国胸前了。日本说“你不让我捏一把我就强*你。”中国怕了，大气都不敢喘，这就是纵容犯罪，中国要是宁死不屈当个烈女，人家敢?你吗？日本就是喜欢无理取闹，台湾明明是中国的乳房，他偏要把自己的手当胸罩，总之他的理由随时可以遍出一大堆，你还跟他讲什么道理，这明显低能嘛，秀才遇见兵有理说得清吗？说得清以前也不会被非礼啊。　　　　　　还谈什么中日友好，中日友好就是米兰昆德拉说的性友谊，就好象你辩论男女间是否存在纯粹的友谊，那种纯粹的友谊就是纯粹的扯淡！　　　　　　
日本想摸中国乳房，中国当然是严词拒绝了，太过分了抵抗是肯定的，但抵抗有多强烈那就说不准了，中国的近代历史让人寒心，我们退一步，为了发展经济忍辱负重，乳房也让他摸吧，可他摸了能满足吗？什么叫得陇望蜀，日本兴奋了那还了得，现在发育未全就已经跃跃欲试，现在不给他泼冷水他能降火吗？人家的军队叫自慰队，可人家的国策不是自慰，自慰对他们来说太可贵了，他们只会强*，为什么？我怀疑盘古开天辟地时在北太平洋拉了屎，遗臭万年！　　　　　
　为什么把中国比做女人？我不爱国吗？我写这篇文章是在无偿献血，相信每个爱国的人都咬牙切齿了，什么时候能扬眉吐气？中国历史上把女人当惯了，也不差这一次，谁叫我们要说自己不结盟，在国际舞台上总是做出一副淑女的样子，有指甲也不敢抠人，连越南文莱马来西亚都敢占我们的岛礁，我们很友好，总向别人示好，总是礼让，可人家喜欢吗？人家会说我们骨子里*，真正*的是少数民族的败类，我希望国人不要等刀子捅进肚子才明白血是红的，那时就晚了。概有人要说我XL了，用这么引人注目的标题和比喻，相比石原慎太郎我算差远了，他说国防就是防止本国女人被外人X，其实他说这话是互相矛盾的，我怀疑他的血统有点杂，美国驻军当年一定没少上他们家串门，小动作总该有吧，当然我们可以理解他的心情，他的言下之意是让美国人“那个”不要紧，是荣幸，让中国人“那个”了，就是莫大的耻辱。在他们眼里，中国是个任意凌辱的女人，你看韩国人多刚烈，同样是示威，人家什么规模，我们又是什么规模。你要一个强*犯怎么想？他现在说过去强*你是正当的，有种我们就煽他两巴掌，人家挑?，我们有种吗？我们的身体有种，我们的大脑没种。谈什么复兴啊，要是委曲求全能复兴，我愿意自挖双眼！中国或许连女人都不是，就是个太监，唐汉时当过男人，后来练葵花宝典了。　　　　　
　是啊！不管对错，她都是我的祖国。我只是她的一个细胞，我何尝不想让她强大，可她的淋巴结有问题，她的头脑有问题，她让我悲愤，她让我的每个组成部分都沸腾，我多么希望有一天她能对那些歹徒们说，操，想打架？　　　　
　　然而这似乎只是我一相情愿的看法，国际形势是很复杂，我们是不能头脑发热，我们还要和鬼子周旋，不能硬拼，希望那些让人失望的决策只是欲擒故纵，呵呵，杞人忧天，苍天若是有眼，也不会有这么多不公道的事了，采尼说上帝死了，我看上帝是在的，不过瞎了而已。面对战争中国是底气不足，小日本物动不是傻子，他比我们清楚中国的现状，为什么台湾想独立，他们根本就看不起大陆，我可以给出很多数据，觉得脸红，中国哪来那么多贪官，携巨款往外国跑，引用我所看的帖子里的话?二十一世纪的国际竞争是教育的竞争，是国民素质的竞争。中国的初级教育相当于日本1900年的水平，落后100年；中等教育相当于日本1910年的水平，落后90年；高等教育相当于日本1920年的水平，落后80年；教育经费相当于日本1920年左右的水平。与此同时，我国每年被贪污掉的资金保守估计也在2万5千亿人民币左右。go-vern-ment将数百亿教育经费投放到少数名牌大学，致使基础教育、普通教育、技术教育步履维艰，九年制义务教育形同虚设，普通民众在教育支出的重压下苦不堪言。根据对比，中国今天的普通高等教育的收费相当于民国30年的贵族学校。毫无疑问这是改革以来最大的失败，必将对中华民族的发展和崛起产生深远的负面影响。　　　　　　同时世界卫生组织公布，中国卫生分配公平性在全世界排名中居第一百八十八位，列倒数第四。　　　　　　那么中外人士会问为什么中国表面上显得如此富裕，答案是中国的庞大人口基数。贪污者、以权钱交换立业创收者和正当有产者就能形成一个巨大的消费市场，中国看上去就像一个上半身华丽无比下半身破烂不堪的怪人，问题是中国一直在尽心尽力的照顾上半身，似乎忘记了自己下半身的存在。全国总工会公布目前中国民工被拖欠的工资估计有1千亿元左右，其中建筑业占百分之70以上。有些方，包工头欠民工的钱，建筑商欠包工头的钱，而最后是地方go-vern-ment欠建筑商的钱。国家统计局的数字显示，全国各地go-vern-ment拖欠工程款占全部拖欠工程款的四分之一以上，北京理工大学人文学院教授胡星斗说，一些地方go-vern-ment在财政资金困难的情况下，为了所谓“形像工程”和“政绩工程”而强行上马一些项目，但是又没有钱，于是只能让建筑公司先垫钱上马，go-vern-ment于是成了是最终债务人之一。如果你在日本的大街上问一些日本青年，没有一个人会知道日军二战中在中国使用过细菌武器，教科书上没有，档案馆里也没有，如果有小日本物动揭露此事就没有公司会录用；在日本凡是开大巴、车站收费、停车场指挥这些服务岗位全部是清一色五十岁以上的日本老人。他们头发斑白、克尽职守，令人钦佩。据说这批老人学历不高，所以干服务工作；凡日本防卫厅、厚生省和代表日本go-vern-ment出庭的官员都是清一色的二、三十岁的年轻人，他们西装革履，表情庄重，出言谨慎，是日本受过高等教育和培训的新生代，可谓人尽其才；小日本物动工作认真、讲究效率，守时、重信用、讲礼节；日本的大街小巷，看不到垃圾，无论你走到人头涌动的地铁，还是商场，地面都光洁如新。日本人很少在公共场所抽烟和吃零食，更没有随地吐痰、随手扔垃圾的习惯，地铁的墙壁上也看不到乱写乱画的现象；小日本物动遵守交通规则无论是繁华的东京、大阪，还是古老的京都，大街上看不到一个交警，汽车、人流严格按红绿灯指示行动，一丝不苟。　　　　
　　日本始终坚持宰割中国的战略，毫不动摇，因为他明白一个强大的邻居曾经被自己摧残过，这也是中国原子弹爆炸时，日本举国震惊、不停献软的原因。而现在我们的一些准汉*还抱着中日友好、一厢情愿的幻想，理由是时代不同了。仇恨毫无用处，一切都*实力，包括软实力即政治管理和众所周??2000年底，日本的海外总资产增加3317亿美元，达到3.2046万亿美元。而2003年中国的GDP是11万亿人民币；日本制造业在海外的销售额每年在1万亿美元以上，2000年达到了1.3万多亿美元，这其中在2002年左右光电器就有中国消费者送的150亿美金左右。这个数字已经超过日本国内市场，占日本电器商总收入的四分之三，你我现在用的光驱即便是中国企业造的也得向其购买专利费，这就是悲哀所在，如果你仇日，你必须坚定的关注自己的每一个消费细节。　　　
　　　仅日本制造业在海外销售额此一项，就超过了我国当年的GDP总值。　　　　　
　 2000年底，日本国民银行存款总额为7.7万多亿美元，不包括金融资产、保险储蓄、邮政储蓄、产业集资等各类资金储蓄，我国在2003年是12万亿人民币左右。　　　　　　日本的国际难民援助金额为世界第一位，日本是除美国外向联合国捐款最多的国家，这是日本在国际政治中致胜利器。　　　　　　在2001年中国的社会总资产大约在30――50万亿人民币之间，也就是说，即使日本工业基础为零，用其资金重新打造一个工业王国，也会超过了中国的社会资产的总和！最近十年间，日本的经济增长率在1.3％左右，要明白即使他的一碎步，也会让中国跑几年的，经济总量摆在那里。　　　　　　日本在经济衰减的同时一边在喊哭穷，一边对技术开发和促进生产投入了9万亿美元。
　　　　　　日本的媒体在这其中很好的配合国家战略，在哭穷的同时还抬出了中国威胁论，并且推广到国际上，中国还真有许多人自以为是，老子天下第一了。已经被人竖起准备当未来的枪靶子，还傻不愣鸡地高兴呢。中国醉生梦死的媒体战略和从业者的水平，中国人民已经不想再领教了，从背后充满丑恶交易的春节晚会到倒白开水似的电视节目.

this must be the most interesting piece of blog ive read in long time. i quite agree with Li Ao (btw its written by him i think, at least the author claimed so).
although being a singaporean by citizenship, iam still a chinese by blood, so of course i hope that China becomes strong. i think that the problem with chinese is that, instead of building the economy, we have infighting. like WW2, civil war etc. haiz.
there is a fundamental problem with a lot of chinese of today. in fact i think it is there ideology. many chinese always say, the strong shouldnt bully the weak, japanese killed chinese, so japs are evil kind of stuff. they dewell in these never ending and quite useless problems. however few seek to really understand or seek to care the kernel of all these phenomenons or fundamentals facts of life. the strong devours the weak, slaves get exploited by their masters, it is the law governing the world. the chinese should think about methods to become stronger, to exploit or defend themself from others. the world always talk about manners, about righteous. thats quite bullshit. the one with the fist or power gets the final say. the iraq war is quite a good example. they conquered iraq claiming they posses WMD, holy god, they still havent found them yet. while on the other hand, their oil cooperations are busy drilling oil. im not lying, it is said so in the newsweek.
of course personally, i wish that the entire world is like cinderalla, red riding hood, every one coexist peacefully. but thats not gonna to happen by game theory. as long as there is one big bad wolf, we will all get screXed. thats why like all japanese anime protagnist say(by my 5 yrs of anime watching, i think it is the favourite line, 強くなりたい(wanna become stronger), we must become stronger. thats why we end up mugging, so that we will be at the higher end strata in society, and our nation will have enough punch to prevent people attacking us.

thats it, my first post. not my mundane life but my thoughts. i know i must improve my english and cohesiveness hehe